Archive for December 21st, 2009

The rate of divorces has increased drastically in recent years, not just in Australia but in many parts of the world. This is due to many reasons but most will agree that the change to no-fault divorces has increased the rate of divorce. Whereas years ago, couples had to prove the their spouse was “unfit” or did something wrong, with a no-fault divorce couples can obtain a divorce by merely stating they no longer wish to be married. Regardless of the reason a couple chooses to get a divorce, it’s in their best interest to find a good divorce lawyer.

Australia has very clear and relatively easy-to-satisfy divorce laws. The only requirements are that you be domiciled in Australia, be an Australian citizen or an Australian resident for at least 12 months. If you meet these requirements, and have been separated from your spouse for at least 12 months, you can file for a divorce in Australia. In certain cases, the spouses are not required to attend their court hearing. One of these situations is if there are no children under the age of 18. If you do have children under the age of 18, and both you and your spouse sign a joint divorce application, you will not need to make a court appearance unless the court waives this requirement for some reason.

In spite of how easy it is to obtain a divorce in Australia, it will still be beneficial for you to have a divorce lawyer, particularly if minor children and/or property are involved. A good divorce lawyer can help you with separation, divorce, property settlement, child custody, maintenance and defacto property settlement. Occasionally, a couple will choose to handle a divorce themselves without the assistance of a divorce lawyer. This is not recommended unless there are no children or assets and both spouses are in full agreement of the simplicity of the divorce. In all other cases, a divorce lawyer is highly recommended to help stand up for your rights regarding the many issues involving family law and divorce.

Australia has made every effort to make divorce as easy, inexpensive and pain free as possible for the couple by requiring the using of arbitration in divorce cases. The private arbitration system for divorces was implemented by the federal Attorney-General of Australia to help eliminate the many disputes brought on by divorce.  Divorce lawyers authorized by the courts will handle the arbitration. The couples seeking the divorce can choose their own divorce lawyer from the court-appointed list. The main purpose of the arbitration is to help resolve money issues. Arbitrators, however, have no authority to rule on disputes involving child custody.

Many people confuse arbitration with mediation or believe they are the same thing when they are actually quite different. A good divorce lawyer can explain the divorce an assist you with your needs during your divorce proceedings. A mediator cannot make a decision for or against a wife or husband but is there to listen to both sides and offer suggestions on how they can both compromise to come to an agreeable solution. If the couple cannot come to an agreement, the job of the mediator is over and an arbitrator is brought into the case. In some cases, however, the mediator is asked to come to a decision for the couple, although this is not recommended because it’s often difficult for a mediator to suddenly switch roles and become an arbitrator.

Arbitrators are divorce lawyers set by the court and can set their own fees, which can often be quite expensive. Couples have the choice of choosing their own arbitrator if they’re not happy with the one chosen by the court. A divorce can be a small matter between two individuals but can also be a huge court case involving a couple, their children and jointly owned property. In such a case, you will want a good divorce lawyer. You will want to make sure you have a lawyer that is experienced enough to help you in your divorce. Because there are many circumstances in divorces, you may need a checklist of questions for your divorce lawyer to help ensure you are getting the best possible divorce lawyer for your needs, some of which may include:

1.    How many divorces have they handled? You do not want a divorce lawyer with little or no experience in divorces. Unless they’ve actually handled a divorce, they’re not going to know what to expect or if there courts lean towards any certain trends.
2.    What is their specialty in divorces? Although some divorces may be simple, some involve property settlements, custody battles, child support, maintenance, etc. You’ll need to know your divorce lawyer has experience that will meet your needs.
3.    What kind of reputation do they have in divorce cases? You may notice in divorces of wealthy couples, women seeking large settlements often seek the same divorce lawyer or couples seeking custody will use divorce lawyers that are successful in these issues. Find out what your divorce lawyer’s success rate is.
4.    What are the costs? The cost of divorce can be as low as hundreds (doing it yourself) and as high as thousands of dollars. Have your divorce lawyer explain what the expenses will be. Find out if there are any expenses that can be lessened or eliminated without hurting your case.
5.    How many arbitrations have they been involved in? If they are a court-appointed arbitrator, as is customary in Australia divorce cases, they’ve probably been in arbitrations before. Find out how many and how they resulted.
6.    What type of arbitrations has your divorce lawyer been involved in? If you suspect your divorce is going to become a nasty fight for custody, you want a divorce lawyer that’s experienced and successful in child custody cases.
7.    What does your divorce lawyer hope to accomplish in your divorce? Have him explain the most and least he hopes to get for you. Don’t be afraid to compare divorce lawyers if you don’t feel the first one you see can help you.
8.    If asked, would your divorce lawyer be willing to work as an arbitrator and mediator? The answer you get from your lawyer may determine if he’s the right divorce lawyer for you.

Lawyers compared

is a handy online guide for individuals seeking the services of a lawyer in Australia. This online guide covers such areas as divorce lawyers, family lawyers, commercial lawyers and more.

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Still in love with your ex and looking for Some relationship help? Well now you find yourself without the person you’re still in love with you either have to find help to move on or help to get them back in your arms.

If your feeling you should move on then the kind of relationship help you’re going to need depends mostly on how bad the relationship ended. If it was a major drama that really and seriously took it out of you emotionally, then without a doubt you’re going to need plenty of time to recover and get over the relationship.

Caring for yourself is always key after any emotional trama, but in this case where you’ve been tossed around and you’re still in love your ex, it is even more important. Don’t give yourself a hard time for any decisions you made that you now feel were the wrong ones. Did the best you could with what you had, so relax and give yourself a break and start moving forward.

Make sure that the relationship help you need is to look after you and not to look after your ex and what they might be going through. You have left them behind and though you’re still in love with your ex, they are no longer your responsibility.

Think you need to talk to a relationship advisor to help put the whole relationship into perspective then do this as soon as possible. In a situation where you’re still feeling hurt and emotional, the sooner you regain your composure and any self-esteem issues the better it will be.

If the kind of relationship help you’re looking for is help to get your ex back in your arms, then do some of the things outlined above. But then make sure you’re putting together a strategy to bring you full circle to make up with your ex.

So follow what’s already been outlined: taking care of yourself first, talk to a relationship advisor if you feel you have to and forget about your ex for a few weeks while you recover from all your emotions.

When you’re through the initial re grouping stage, then make contact with your ex. Ask for a meeting somewhere neutral. When you meet your ex, calmly and without being overly emotional explain that you still have feelings for them. Explain that you’ve had time to think and you’d like another chance to make your relationship work. Take the time to listen to your ex and hear their point of view, you don’t necessarily have to agree with them, but you need to really listen.

Then give them time to think and leave to wait for them to call. Truth is it could go either way. Using this relationship help guarantees nothing. Just know this, you have given it your best shot so there is no need to spend endless hours beating yourself up. Whatever may happen next in your life, you will always sense that it was a tragedy that you never made a complete effort to get back together.It is hard to find that special person. When you do find them you need to hang on tight through the good and the not so good. You need to come together and not break up. Why break up when you can make up? Remember too, making up can be a lot of fun!
 

Reconciling is not a sure thing, but if you are still in love with your ex and are willing to try, it will be very much worth it. For more help you can look into one of the Best Relationship Advice Systems available, at http://www.dontbreakupmakeup.com/It will take you by the hand and show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your ex love back in your arms, Especially if you are the only one trying. If you want to save your relationship, then you can start working toward the relationship you once had, or always wanted. Best wishes!

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When you get married you have such high hopes for the future. Sure, you know that some couples lose their love. Some get divorced and others lose their passion for one another. But somehow, you never believe it can happen to you.

Suddenly you find yourself desparate for any kind of sexless marriage help that you can find, anyone to help you get back the passion.

I understand how you feel. The feeling of anger, fear, rejection, and even humiliation are hard to bear. But bear them you must because you need to take action to fix your sexless marriage. It’s unlikely to happen on its own.

The first thing you need to do is be confident in your ability to get the passion back. I don’t care how long it has been like this. You can turn this around.

Second, you have to avoid casting blame, whether at your spouse or at yourself. You are not to blame here. You are not ugly or fat or anything of the sort. This just happens to people, many people, good people. You’re just unfortunate, not guilty of anything.

Third, you have to begin changing the routine of your life which drove your marriage to this dismal place. A sexless marriage doesn’t happen of its own. It’s the result of how you two are doing together. You can change this. In fact, you must.

Fourth, you need to start getting back into “dating mode” trying to figure out how the two of you were before, when the passion was high and you had a lot less obligations in life.

Fifth, although you can do a lot without your partner’s participation, having them on board and cooperating can be a big help. However, never despair. It may take some time but you can fix your sexless marriage.

Never lose hope, put some excitement into your life, spend more quality time together and you may see the passion return to your marriage.

Click here to fix your sexless marriage.

Kate Dixon is a relationship expert and author.

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ASTROLOGY IN MARRIAGE COUNSELLING

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