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Archive for January 11th, 2010
My Cousin Woodie (or Beware of Internet Surveillance)
My cousin Woodie was an overweight dropout in his early 40’s who lived on a trailer park in the USA. He never married and was often unemployed. He was quite a clever guy but somewhat unhinged. Generally, he kept himself to himself so few folks on the park ever saw him around. They certainly heard him though, for at dawn he liked to burst into song, just making up any words he didn’t know:
Jo Jo was a man before he was a woman, but he was another man.
Michelle ma belle, some say monkeys play piano well, ma belle Michelle.
Beatles fans must have found it particularly annoying. I know I would.
Woodie liked to brag about his collection of exotic foreign magazines which he hid in a shoe box in his den when his ma called round. He also kept a train set, ordered a lot of model aeroplane glue and wrote bad poetry. Though I hadn’t seen him for several years, he emailed me regularly.??His main contact with the outside world, however, was through the internet where he used dubious pseudonyms and sent up or lampooned internet forums.
On a parenting forum an anxious father reported that, to his horror, he had found his 13yr old daughter smoking. Among the members’ helpful suggestions and replies, you would have found Trailertrash asking if she was just hanging out with bikers or puffing away in front of her kids.
On a medical forum, as Trousersnake, he commiserated with those suffering from loss of libido but described in some detail how the offending medication (Lyrica) was having quite the opposite effect on him. He made it sound like boasting.
A missionary ship bound for Africa was holed up awaiting repairs in Newcastle, England. Eager to sail, the crew vented their frustration, through various blogs, at the lack of progress in the shipyard. As Trinity, Woodie warned the good people that as the ship probably provided the only form of employment in that city, it would never be allowed leave. In the circumstances, they should consider devoting their lives to converting the locals. His suggestion was not well received.
Visiting a sailboat forum, as Capt Bligh RN, he posted a design for a self-steering device which looked quite genuine but was complete nonsense. Several hundred members made the device and, oddly enough, a few of them claimed that it worked. One unfortunate sailor used it on a Pacific crossing and was never heard of again.
By the way, if you are a member of the international PrayForMe forum, remove Repentant from your list of those in need of your assistance. Like most of us, Woodie may have worried about the stock market, but he was not the multi-millionaire he claimed to be and did not require divine intervention in his choice of investments. Be generous, brothers and sisters, and find some space in your hearts to forgive him.
Should you happen across any of his suggestions for evading speeding fines or income tax, I would suggest that you ignore them. At the time, a few were quite promising but all the loopholes have now been firmly closed.
Childhood
Though he was rather scared of his ma, Woodie was very loyal to her. In fact, when she was transferred to the hospital wing, he visited the prison every month. She once told me that as a child he entered an talent contest and sang a sentimental ditty he had heard on the radio:
M is for the million things she gave me
O is only that she’s growing old
T is for the tears she shed to save me
H is for her heart of purest gold
I is for her eyes forever shining
R is right and right she’ll always be
Put them all together they spell MOTHER
A word that means the world to me.
While the audience, the judges and his mom, rocked with laughter, Woodie stood on the stage in confusion. Then, struggling to contain his amusement, an elderly judge shouted:
Put them all together, they spell MOTHIR.
A word that makes no sense to me!
The audience collapsed in convulsions and Woodie fled the stage in tears. That was the end of his brief career in show business. When his mother told me this, she was still laughing and said ‘Little varmint should have taken a bow. Might have won.’
Siblings? Yes there are two older sisters. As kids, I believe they were fond of him but had a strange way of showing it. They once told him that he had a twin brother called Forrest. He was very excited and asked them where his twin was now. They offered to show him. ‘Do I need to put on my shoes?’ he asked. ‘No,’ they replied, ‘Just come in your bare feet.’ He followed them to the bottom of the garden where they showed him a large mound of earth. ‘Forrest is buried under there,’ they whispered sadly and then ran off laughing into the pig field. I think it affected him quite badly.
The world of education was not always kind to Woodie. On his very first day, the teacher told the kids that they were to draw a picture of something that they liked. She handed out paper and crayons and the kids eagerly set about the task. When they had finished, she told them to put their names on their drawings and hand them in so she could mark them. Woodie, who had drawn a very good picture of Squirts, his dog, waited in anticipation as the teacher studied the various works of art. She then showed them individually to the class and it was clear that the quality of the artwork gradually improved as she worked through the pile. Finally, she reached the last drawing and it just had to be Woodie’s. ‘Now look carefully, children,’ she ordered. To Woodie’s joy, she held the sketch of his beloved Squirts in front of the class. Then, to his horror, she tore his picture into several pieces. ‘This is what happens when you don’t put your name on your work.’
Some years ago I asked him if he had ever seen his father and told me that he had met him just the once. His pa had turned up on a motorbike outside the educational institution where Woodie was being reformed and asked permission to spend a couple of hours with his son. After an emergency staff conference, permission was granted and, with Woodie perched precariously on the pillion, they roared off together into the desert. Later, propped up against a rock and enjoying a joint, this long lost relative stared at his son for a while and then offered some words of wisdom. ‘Listen kiddo,’ he said, ‘Whenever you get nervous, take several deep breaths to calm things down. It always works with me.’ Woodie thanked him for the fatherly advice but thought he would have preferred a crash helmet. With dusk falling, they raced back to the school. As the gates closed behind him, Woodie turned and watched his father disappear towards the sunset in a cloud of smoke. That was the last he ever saw of him. I asked Woodie what his father looked like. ‘I dunno,’ he replied, ‘He never took his goggles off.’
Woodie was never very confident or comfortable with girls. His mother once told me that any decent girl would be hard-pressed to seek a romantic association with her son, though those were not her exact words. He did, however, have a Brazilian penfriend called Lidjaine. She was learning English at the time and, after an exchange of letters, he sent her a charming little poem which he had written.
To Lidjaine
Lidjaine Lidjaine Lidjaine
With your long flowing mane
and two identical eyes
that set my heart aflame.
Lidjaine Lidjaine Lidjaine
I know you’re not to blame
But there is one thing about you
I find a bit insane.
Lidjaine Lidjaine Lidjaine
I think it is a shame
That your parents didn’t call you
By another name.
Lidjaine Lidjaine Lidjaine
Oh please can you explain
How do you pronounce
Your clumsy looking name?
Lidjaine Lidjaine Lidjaine
She never replied which was a pity because he got good grades in English. For years, he kept a fading photo of her pinned up in his den next to the letter from Prince Charles (Yes, the one who lives in London, England). More of that later.
Woodie never married and it’s probably for the best. A few years back, he was asked to be Santa Claus at the staff Christmas party in the Sewage Farm where he worked as a drains inspector. With his tattooed fingers and wild hair, the kids approached him with some apprehension to collect their gifts. One of his greeting cries was ‘Hi there and when’s your mom coming out of jail?’ To those who were brave enough to reply that mom was not in jail, he shouted ‘That’s great news! So they’ve let her out in time for Christmas!’ The following year they employed a professional actor for this role.
Despite his failure as a young singer, Woodie never abandoned his dream of being a famous songwriter. Occasionally, he sent me the lyrics of songs he had written and asked me to put a tune to them. I grew tired of this and just kept sending him the same tune, but Woodie was too busy writing new songs to notice.
I guess he must have penned over three hundred songs. The last one he sent me was entitled Try, Try, Try Again. which seemed appropriate. He liked writing country music: The marriage is tomorrow but the honeymoon’s tonight!, She stole my heart, my hat and my horse, etc. He mailed I’ll Just Lie Here to several well known country singers but their agents ignored it. Personally, I found it rather disturbing. Here’s the chorus:
I see a man with my wife
I see a man living my life
I see a man with my gal
If I’d a gun I’d blast him to hell.
But I’ll just lie here all alone
I’ll just lie here on my own
I’ll just lie here outside town
I’ll just lie here – six foot down.
Animal lovers would not have appreciated the lyrics of Bring your dog up right. You only needed one verse to see why:
Oh, I love my dog to pieces
For she really cures the blues,
But I kick her butt each time I find
Her mess stuck on my shoes.
Inventions. Now there was a subject close to Woodie’s heart if not his brain. Some of his ideas beggared belief but they may catch on one day. For example, he developed an airbag for use with a motorbike (too late for that ride into the desert), and there was the car that could be driven from the back seat. His other major contribution to road safety was a sharp steel spike clamped to the centre of a steering wheel and pointing at the driver’s heart. Rather less risky, was the sideways rocking chair for use as a training aid to cure seasickness. Then there was the harmonica which played itself in a gust of wind. Another project involved home-made fireworks. Using a recipe for explosives he found on the internet, he designed a hat to fire rockets and demonstrated it at Halloween. Though Woodie lost most of his hair, the neighbours considered the hat a resounding success. He blamed the confusing instructions – parts of which were in Arabic. I also recall the baby bed cage which was something parents could use to protect their newborn in bed. If one or both parents rolled over onto junior, the bars of the cage were strong enough to withstand the weight of two obese adults. As I said earlier, it was probably for the best that he did not father any children.
The explosion was not the only time that Woodie diced with danger. He stumbled into a forum celebrating the beauty of young models and actresses. The kind of forum where sad guys post things like ‘OMG I love her and I want to marry her one day!’ Woodie added comments like ‘Well I just want her to come over and play with my train set.’ When he told me about this, I hit the roof. I told him to steer well clear of that stuff. You just don’t know who is monitoring these sites. The internet is a dangerous place, even for guys who own a train set and mean what they say.
Earlier, I mentioned a letter from Prince Charles. Actually, the letter came from the Prince’s personal assistant but it had the right address on it and all the trimmings. It seemed that some years ago Prince Charles had an accident. Perhaps he was playing polo or involved in some kind of horse play, but he spent the night in a National Health Service hospital. This was a humble medical destination for the injured king-to-be but he was looked after with great skill and the story was picked up by the international press. Woodie got the idea that this was a state institution providing very basic medical care for the destitute, and some folks in the UK would agree. He wrote a letter to Prince Charles expressing his sympathy for the injury and suggesting that he took out some Blue Cross health insurance. The return letter thanked him for his concern and assured him that the Prince had fully recovered. Woodie was very proud of that letter. As you will see later, it may have been his first, but not his last, contact with royalty.
For someone who had probably never seen the sea, Woodie was quite interested in ships and was delighted when I sent him a photo of the SS Romantic, a rust bucket on which I had worked. One day, he removed the photo from where it was pinned under his beloved Lidjaine and, having scanned it, started to mess around using photoshop. He altered the masts, enlarged the funnel, added some extra portholes, disguised the name and then posted it on an international forum for ship enthusiasts. As Neptune, he asked members of the forum to help him identify it and they applied their knowledge and skills to this task with great enthusiasm. The ship’s nationality was the subject of much discussion and, according to the experts, was variously owned by Norway, Israel, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia or Poland. One member was adamant that he could see a Star of David on the funnel whereas another member insisted that the pattern was caused by some radio masts. The two became very argumentative over this point and had to be restrained by a moderator. Asked to describe where the photo was taken, Woodie replied that he’d seen the mystery ship in Antarctica. Excited by this news, the experts embarked on another line of enquiry but it was one that led only to more arguments. By the time the topic had clocked up 2,500 visitors, Woodie decided to drop anchor. He returned to his original post and replaced the fake photo with the genuine one. The arguments trundled on for a few more days and then someone new to the topic asked what the fuss was all about. In his opinion, it was perfectly obvious to any fool that the ship was the SS Romantic; the name was clearly painted on the bows. Some of the self-styled experts were furious and demanded the immediate expulsion of Neptune. One irate member was particularly aggrieved because he had paid a laboratory to work on the photo in order to reveal the ship’s name. In crossing the Australian outback to do so, his car had broken down and he went walkabout for a couple days before being rescued.
After this, Woodie tried spreading an urban myth in which the government blocked publication of a report comparing the personalities of criminals and police officers. In a study of 16 different traits, no significant differences between the two populations were discovered. Now can you imagine that any one would believe such a thing? As Trailerskunk, he soon tired of asking junkie sites where he could obtain some pot suppositories: ‘I need a bullet shaped preparation I can place where the sun don’t shine and the cops won’t look’. Somewhat to his irritation, he discovered that such a product did indeed exist and came highly recommended, which took the wind out of his sails. Later, as IllegalAlien, he filed sightings of UFO’s with the National Reporting Center. ‘Driving north on I-440, I observed in the night sky a cigar-shaped object with a long row of windows and flashing lights descending to earth. It landed in a field to the east of Little Rock.’ No one seemed to notice that this event occurs about 150 time a day at Little Rock, but he was starting to lose interest. Then, Nigerian scammers entered his computer and they must have lived to regret it.
Like most folks who use the internet, Woodie had his fair share of scam e-mails, particularly the kind that appear in the inbox and say things like:
Dear Friend
It is with heart of hope that I write to seek your help in the context below. I am Genza Munga, the first son of the late Mko Munga, A political philantropist and the alleged winner of the June 12 1993 Presidential election, Who died in custody of the Gen Inje Obanithe former military president of the Democratic Republic of Nigeria. I know you will be surprise on how i got your contact, but it was after a careful search in my late father archives that i saw your contact, I have no doubt on your good will to assist me in receiving into your custody (For Safety) the sum of Forty Eight Million, Five hundred Thousand United States Dollars (US$48.5M) willed and deposited in my favour by my Late father. ………and so on.
He had several ways of dealing with these requests. One was to create an email address which included the name of the sender. So, in the example above, he would become genzamunga@whatever.com and berate the sender for stealing both his name and his scam. He would threaten to send in the heavy mob, ‘For I know where you are hiding.’ At other times, however, he would agree to collect the crate of dollars or family jewels personally and bring the $1000 release fee in cash.
One spin-off from these scam emails was that he increased his geographical knowledge of the world quite considerably without leaving the trailer. He became quite well-informed about African countries, Holland, and the streets of Amsterdam in particular. He often went to the trouble of investigating the cost and times of flights from New York to Amsterdam. Naturally, he would expect a driver and car to meet him at the airport and the driver had to hold up a very large card with the word Squirts on it. Squirts, of course, was long since deceased. but Woodie had never forgotten his only true friend. In meeting his scammers, he usually selected the same rendezvous which he described thus:
Go to the Amnesia Bar on the Herengracht. The music there is the pits but the coffee is good and the other customers will be too busy enjoying the smoke to notice us. I shall be carrying an empty violin case which can be thrown into a nearby canal if we need to go somewhere else to discuss business. Meet me at the table by the entrance to the bathroom.
He said that he sometimes managed to arrange meetings with several different scammers at the same time and would sit in his trailer imagining them all threading their way through the smoke to sit at the same table by the entrance to the bathroom.
I knew that he had got involved with this kind of nonsense because he had started inserting certain phrases into the emails he sent me; phrases which he had picked up from his newfound friends such as:
Thank you and God bless you please extend my greetings to your entire family.
WHAT IS GOING ON?
Be that as it may, my friend.
Then came the fateful day when Queen Shoneka entered Woodie’s cyberspace. It was the usual kind of scam with the promise of 30% of 9 million dollars deposited by her late father (the country’s first interim president) in a South African bank. At first he played all the usual time-wasting tricks and was entertained by her quaint spelling, eg massage instead of message. ‘Oh Queen, how I look forward to your next massage.’ With the aid of an airways timetable, he found a flight that sounded plausible: SAA235 to Johannesburg, arriving 6 September at 7.25 am local time. He apologised for its early arrival – deliberately timed for the middle of the busiest rush hour in Africa. Somewhat to his surprise, Queen Shoneka booked him a room in the Road Lodge Hotel not far from the airport and gave him a reservation number. Out of curiosity, Woodie checked the reservation and found it to be genuine. But, of course, he was still back home in his trailer when her driver and his assistant turned up at the airport to greet him. Queen Shoneka began to panic:
I am writing to ask what actually is going on. You did not show up. I even sent a massage to you. Kindly reply to ease my mind. I am waiting for you at the Road Lodge Hotel and am so worried. Please don’t destroy my entire life and future.
A later massage, sorry message, informed Woodie that her driver and the assistant had been arrested at the airport and that she was in deep trouble. It was at this point that Woodie began to feel guilty. His excuse for missing the flight was a lame one but the Queen swallowed it. He then emailed her some ideas as to how she might escape the building and avoid capture by the South African police. Eventually, he received the good news that she had taken up his suggestion of hiding in a rubbish skip, by which means she had been transported, free of charge, to an industrial tip not far from the city centre. After that, they began to exchange messages, and even the occasional photo. Undeniably, Queen Shoneka was an attractive woman and her photo soon replaced that of Lidjaine’s on the wall of his den.
When Woodie told me all this, I urged him to be cautious for Queen Shoneka might not be a genuine female monarch. In fact, she could turn out to be a six foot guy weighing 180 lbs who moonlighted as a bodyguard when he wasn’t sitting in an internet cafe. But it was no use; he was hooked and, until his emails suddenly stopped, talked of nothing else but his African Queen. I even wrote to his ma and asked her to talk some sense into him, but the reply I received came as a shock. Woodie had disappeared from the trailer park and no one knew of his whereabouts. I couldn’t believe that he had gone to South Africa to be with Queen Shoneka, though there was always a possibility that he had. It was a complete mystery.
So the months passed by and there was not a single word from Woodie. Then, while visiting friends in the USA, I happened to pass the trailer park where he had lived and drove in. An old guy, sitting on a bench in the sun, pointed out Woodie’s trailer, now occupied by another family. I asked him if he remembered my cousin. ‘Remember him?’ he replied, ‘I won’t never forget him. As sure as hell, that boy was wired to the moon. Most people round here avoided him but he didn’t scare me. About a year ago, he just took off one night and never came back. Had an African lady with him. Fine looking woman too. I don’t know what she saw in him, but it takes all sorts.’
We sat there sharing a beer and staring at the folks going about their business in the park. ‘You ain’t the only person whose been here looking for him,’ he continued. I asked him what the other visitor looked like. ‘Not one visitor,’ he replied, ‘A whole darn posse of them. Police cars all over the place, special agents in the trees, loud hailers, guns at the ready. I was scared out of my mind! We had guys from the narcotic squad, the IRS, the child protection agency, the immigration service. You name it, they were there. In fact, before they discovered he’d split, they were arguing over who should snatch him. Do you know that Woodie had a little train set? After they searched his trailer, some of them sat outside playing with it. The others were going through a big pile of magazines and it took them a long time. I guess he had something special hidden there. The two guys from the IRS kept sniffing at some tins. I’ll never know what that boy was up to, but it weren’t legal.’
As I drove away from the trailer park that afternoon, I felt a warm glow inside. Cruising down the highway, I burst into a Bob Dylan song; it was one of Woodie’s favourites:
‘The ants are my friends, they’re blowin’ in the wind
The ants are blowing in the wind. ‘
Woodie, if you ever read this, I wish you and your African Queen well. Have a long and happy life together. You don’t have to send me another email. In fact, I’d be overjoyed if you never touch another computer or surf the internet again.
It’s Valentine’s Day. It’s his birthday. It’s her birthday. It’s your anniversary. Whatever the occasion, you want to make it special. Here are a few ideas on how to make a special day a romantic one to remember…
Tailor-make your date to suit your partner. Is there something you know he or she has always wanted to do but hasn’t? It could be something as simple as going to an expensive restaurant or something as extravagant – and fun – as taking a ride in a hot air balloon.
Take an evening cruise. If you live near the ocean, a lake or river, chances are you can take a romantic dinner cruise to make the celebration a beautiful experience.
Have some fun! Revisit your teenage years and go to a drive-in. Bring plenty of popcorn and be prepared for long kissing sessions!
Keep it close to home – prepare you bathroom with scented candles, a bottle of champagne and soft, sexy music. Throw rose petals on your bed (which is covered with your best sheets) and see what happens!
Hire a string quartet and invite your love to a special destination and have the strings serenade them.
Get out and about in nature. There’s nothing like the wonder of nature to help you connect even more deeply to your partner. America is full of secluded places of beauty. Try to find an out of the way spot, bring a bottle of red wine and a picnic basket and take it from there.
Look up! Oscar Wilde, the great Irish wit and writer once said “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” Take your date out for a night of star-gazing.
If you live in a big smoky city, and the stars are hard to see, visit a planetarium.
If you’re a super busy person who spends more time at the office than with your partner, take the day off! This in itself will be a gift to your partner on a romantic celebratory day that they will appreciate.
Relive your first date. Go back to the scene where you first met and reminisce. Did you first meet at a bar or some other place? Arrange to meet your partner at that same place – just for fun – for old times sake. Perhaps you first met in one of the free dating sites , arrange to meet in the singles chat rooms - for a laugh – reignite the chemistry.
If your romantic anniversary is a winter event, take your love ice skating. You can be sure to have some thrills and spills! To skate hand-in-hand on the ice is very American – and romantic – way to go.
Cook up something special. Do some research and check with your date’s family what their favorite childhood meal was and recreate it.
Using some of the ideas above – or some of your very own – make the anniversary special occasion last all day and into the night. Dedicate yourself to your partner from sunrise to sunset and beyond.
Not only does Florida have ideal weather the majority of the time, but it also has many areas that are high tourist attraction hot spots. Orlando, Key West, Tampa and Miami are just some of the most visited areas in this sunny state. Each of these places offers a whirlwind of activities, shopping ventures, entertainment, water adventures and more.
The most popular of all Florida destinations is Walt Disney World in Orlando. With many theme parks, swimming and water fun areas, restaurants, shopping choices and various other types of entertainment, Walt Disney World is not just for kids as some might think. People of all ages come to Walt Disney World with or without children in tow.
Cape Canaveral, Cocoa Beach and Kennedy Space Center in Florida are a short distance from Orlando and fascinating to visit. This is the where you can learn all you wanted to know about NASA and space. There is a Space Museum and well-educated staff to guide you through to answer questions. The Space Center also offers a great Space Camp for your children to become involved in. There they will learn about the training of an astronaut.
Are you a racing fan? If the answer is yes, then head for Daytona. They are known for the ever-popular Daytona 500. However, car racing is not all they do. They have dog and horse racing there as well. Daytona is the host of such events as Bike Week and Biketoberfest. Daytona Beach is also a hot spot, as it is one of the most popular beaches in Florida.
Looking to sail away? Stop in Miami and take a cruise that you have been wanting to take. Visit Gator Park and watch the alligators in their natural habitat while they feed. Take a tour through the Everglades or ride in an airboat. Fishing is great here as well.
If you are looking for a bit of history visit St. Augustine’s, Florida. This center is known to be the oldest city not only in Florida, but also in the United States. There are old buildings along with forts, lookouts and stores that fill the area. Carriage rides are offered for a truly romantic ride to explore this historical city.
Tampa, Florida is home to Busch Gardens, a family oriented theme park. With rides, entertainment and water play you will be entertained and amused. This great city also offers its tourists the Florida Aquarium, the Museum of Science and Industry, the Lowry Park Zoo, camping and water adventures, the Worlds of Discovery and more.
For a relaxing and fun filled vacation, Florida is the place to be. It has everything that one looks for in a vacation. For those who want to kick back and relax a day at the beach followed by a romantic sunset is what you will enjoy. For the more energetic who want to be entertained, visit any one of the numerous activities or theme parks for a whole lot more action.
Article by Dan Carson, Specializing in the
Is a fateful plea for staff echoing in your mind? It is never too late to save your marriage.
Ideas Get Boyfriend Back
Everyone likes to have romantic and meaningful relationships. There are some couples who have faced arguments which cause a major break up.
When divorce or breakups strike it is a terrible thing for all that are involved. Have you discovered how you might retrieve your ex love partner or your spouse back especially when you feel that it is the end of the world?
It helps you understand the times, when you might be together with you partner, times that you just might not be aware of what to do or say. The guide will walk you through the step by step plan that you need to win your ex back, no matter the reason why you have broken up.
Very simple and easy steps to get you ex-boyfriend/girlfriend close to you again. You will consider a ray of hope which helps motivate you to fix things up with your partner. One step is to keep asking why until you work your way back to the root causes of the issue.
One very important solution to this problem is to find ways to spend plural intimate time together. One very important working-out throughout the process of fixing the your relationship is to keep in mind all the positive things about it.
ou need to work very hard get your ex back fast, if you do not you will just get plural frustrated and your chances will start to rapidly diminish. There will be other people who are interested in your ex. Men do not like desperate women and women do not like needy men, they like danger.
The author of The Magic of Making Up, TW Jackson, has been helping people just like you for years, and has go through with varying assorted types of complicated relationships, and all varying types of break-ups.
The guide will walk you through the steps that you need to include to win your ex partner back. There is a statistic out that has been given and it shows to be a 95% success rate of the system when seriously applied. Like any project, you can not save your marriage without first having and working hard on a plan.
New Ideas Get Boyfriend Back Fast!
The subject matter and step by step plan is powerful, and the techniques will cover in detail any relationship problem (With doable things to do) that keeps you from getting back together with your ex.
Ideas Get Boyfriend Back Now You Can Stop Your Break Up, Divorce or Lovers Rejection…Even If Your Situation Seems Hopeless!
If you are interested in travel to Australia, you definitely are interested in finding out what you different Australia holiday and Australia accommodation options are at this time. With that in mind, when it comes to figuring out what type of Australia holiday will be most enjoyable to you, when it comes to finding out which Australia accommodation will best meet your needs, you need to consider what the purpose of your travel to Australia will be in the first instance. In this regard, when it comes to travel to Australia, there are four general categories into which your own plans may fall:
l Family Australia Holiday
l Romantic Australia Holiday
l Business Australia Trip
l Student Australia Travel
Family Australia Holiday
If you are planning a family Australia holiday obviously one of your goals when it comes to Australia accommodation options will be affordability. While you undoubtedly will want an array of amenities that will appeal to the different members of your family, you will also want to make sure that you can get what you desire in the way of amenities at a reasonable price. In this regard, you will want to take the time to check out what you can find in this regard at discount Internet travel websites.
Romantic Australia Holiday
Like many people, you may have long dreamed about taking a romantic Australia holiday with your beloved. If that is the case, you will want to check out those Australia accommodation options that will allow for an array of amenities that will enhance the romantic nature of your Australia holiday. In this regard, you might want to consider such amenities as hot tubs, lovely dining options and so forth. There are some nicer Australia accommodation choices that offer to you virtual tours of their properties. By taking such a virtual tour, you will have a great idea of what these different properties have in the way of amenities that can really make your romantic Australia holiday come alive.
Business Australia Trip
If your travels to Australia will be for business, you will want to look for a Australia accommodation that offers a business center. By selecting a property with a business center you will be in the best position of being able to make sure that you will be able to accomplish all of your important tasks while you are on the road. Most of the Australia accommodation options that you will find in this regard offer their full business center services to guests at no additional charge.
Student Australia Travel
Finally, is you are a student who intends to take an Australia holiday, cost and your budget necessarily will be a concern. By really taking the time to plan your Australia holiday in advance, and by using the great resources of the Internet, you will be able to arrange for a truly affordable Australia holiday – that includes affordable Australia accommodation options as you travel the country. You will be able to take a memorable Australia holiday that you will be able to well afford.
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Marriage and divorce are too often linked together like “peas and carrots.” At one point in history, the thought of divorce was as scandalous as committing a murder. When a couple married, the notion of getting a divorce if things failed to work out was not an option. Has the sanctity of marriage been lowered so far that when two individuals step up to the altar, they know they have a way out of it? The time honored tradition of living “till death do us part,” seems to have evolved towards the notion of “till death do us part, unless we get a divorce.”
Marriage and divorce often occur because of the type of communication that exists between people. In any relationship, whether it is friendship or a romantic involvement, communication is necessary for it to survive. Communication can be as simple as the difference between saying negative and positive comments to one another. On a daily basis, if you hear things like “you never,” or “you don’t” you’re bound to put up a defense against the personal attacks that usually follow such phrases. All too often we open our mouths without even thinking about what we are saying or how it will affect the person we are addressing. Simple changes in the way we communicate could make a lasting difference in a relationship, especially a marriage. Instead of starting off with the negatives, begin with a positive phrase like “thank you,” or “I’ll help,” to let the person know how much you appreciate them instead of pointing out the things they do wrong all the time.
What is the union of two people, and how does such an institution end? The way that you view marriage and divorce can be derived from your family history. Parent’s divorce with petty quarrels and lack of affection, may influence the fear of their children to fail in their own marriage According to a recent survey, children from a broken home are twice as likely to have their own marriages fail. People whose parents have divorced are more likely to view divorce as a viable solution to a failed marriage. Children of divorced parents often enter a marriage retaining the standards they saw growing up. Before getting married, you should discuss your respective family origins. It is important that you both know about each other’s childhood and your relationship with your parents. With greater understanding of each other’s backgrounds, it becomes easier to attain your marriage goals.
Financial stress often enters a marriage and can play a role in a divorce. Before getting married, sit down and discuss what you are expecting from the marriage financially. For example, discuss whether joint or separate checking accounts are desired. Examine each others saving plan and then work out a new joint plan. It’s important to understand each other’s spending habits before tying the knot. This will give you an idea of where your money will be spent once you are living together. Most of us avoid talking about uncomfortable personal subjects such as money. But we often let money rule our lives. The role that money will play in a marriage is as important as determining the parental roles for raising children.
History’s idea of marriage and divorce is drastically different than what exists in today’s society. Over the centuries, the idea of getting a divorce if one’s marriage wasn’t working out has become somewhat automatic. Perhaps this can change with the next few generations if more emphasis is placed on the importance of communicating before and after marriage. Getting everything out in the open before taking on the commitment of marriage can help a couple cope with the natural difficulties that arise in a relationship which is intended to last a lifetime. It can reiterate the dreams and desires that made two people want to spend their lives together in the first place, making divorce seem like a not-so-appealing option.
Marriages and Divorces are unique to every relationship, but when When Andrew Tenco was in need of a Sacramento family law attorney he found the experts at the Family Law Center really understood his needs. He recommends them for Sacramento child custody, divorce mediation, or family law.
Are those weddings bells I’m hearing? By the gleam in your eyes, people can tell that you’re raring to ask your girl to marry you. While this isn’t the church, you have come to the right place to look for the most romantic ways to propose marriage to your girlfriend.
After all, bending down on one knee is not the only way to propose marriage. There are other ways you can pop the question—ways that will make the moment last a lifetime!
Ways To Propose Marriage # 1: Prepare A Private Dinner for Two.
A lot of people like to propose in a crowded restaurant and have the waiter serve a special dessert with the ring hidden inside. Romantic as the idea may seem, it’s not nearly as special when you’re in a public place.
One good alternative is to prepare a private dinner for the two of you in your own home, or on top of your apartment. You can do all the cooking and maybe hire a music student to play the violin for you. Candles and flowers go a long way into creating a romantic atmosphere.
Not only will your girlfriend appreciate how hands-on the whole surprise is, you also get to save lots of money in the process.
Ways To Propose Marriage # 2: Re-create a Romantic Movie Scene.
One of the most romantic ways to propose to your girlfriend is to recreate a scene from one of her favorite movies. There’s nothing more touching than to fulfill a fantasy.
Does your girlfriend have a soft spot for Breakfast at Tiffany’s? Why not propose in front of a Tiffany jewelry store? If you can’t recreate the scene, you can always take advantage of the soundtrack. Music puts people in a romantic mood, and I bet having Moon River playing in the background will guarantee a yes.
Ways To Propose Marriage # 3: Wait for Her to Look at Her Best.
Women have always dreamed of the day when their boyfriends would propose to them. In their mind, they’re dressed to the nines complete with hair and make-up.
So even though you wake up one morning with an intense desire to propose marriage to your girlfriend, don’t do it yet. Wait for the right moment when she looks at her best, so she can have wonderful memories to cherish for a lifetime.
There are different ways to propose marriage. Do your best to make it your own and special. After all, this is the beginning of the rest of your life together.
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Many people have longed to visit Disney World in Orlando, Florida. This idea is great and can be fun for the entire family. However, there are more cities in the state of Florida, which have some great excitement and fun that your family will also enjoy such as Miami, Orlando, Tampa, Daytona, the Space Coast, and Saint Augustine.
We will start in Orlando only because it has the most famous family and personal attractions in all of Florida. Not only does Orlando have Disney World, but it is home to Universal Studios. Universal Studios can take you behind the scenes of your favorite movie, or TV show. It also has rides and live shows; you can even see a movie crew in progress as they are filming.
In Tampa, Florida, there are attractions such as Bush Gardens, Lowry Park Zoo, the Museum of Science and Industry, the Florida Aquarium, and much more. Bush Gardens is also the home to adventure camps, the Worlds of Discovery, Adventure Island, as well as Bush Gardens itself.
Next there is Daytona, Florida, where all the racing fans are familiar with the Daytona 500. However, there is also horse and dog racing in Daytona as well. Daytona Beach is one of the most famous beaches in the world; and is home to Bike Week and Octoberfest. Daytona also has Adventure Landing Waterpark, where the family can have all sorts of fun.
The Space Coast is only 35 miles east of Orlando, located just outside of Titusville, Florida; and it is full of sandy beaches, the Space Center which is home to NASA, and the Kennedy Space Center. Here your family can visit the Space Museum and even have your picture taken in a space suit. Just outside of the Space Center is the Space Camp where children go to learn how the astronauts train for their missions.
The last city to talk about is the oldest city in the United States, Saint Augustine, Florida. In Saint Augustine, you can walk down St. George Street to see some of the oldest buildings from the old world. In fact there are many old buildings located all around the city. The family can see old forts, lookouts, and stores which look almost as they did back then. Like most of the cities you can take a romantic carriage ride around the city. You can also visit the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Museum.
Miami, Florida, offers some great bay cruises as well as other activities. You can take a trip through the everglades and visit Jungle Island, or Gator Park. There are a variety of wildlife shows and airboat rides. You can charter a boat and take a fishing trip in the saltwater or freshwater (brackish water) fishing in the everglades. You can take a relaxing day at one of the beaches in the area.
No matter which city in Florida you choose to take your vacation, you can always find cruises to take; whether the cruise is for sightseeing or a saltwater fishing tour, you will have an unforgettable vacation experience. You can also learn to sail, or just take trip on the open water of the Atlantic Ocean.
Article by Dan Carson, Specializing in the
Are you in the process of planning your next trip to Hawaii? If you are and if you are looking to visit the island of Oahu, you will want to take the time to examine Oahu vacation rentals. When compared to other overnight accommodations, such as hotels and resorts, they come highly rated and recommended by tourists, especially those on extended vacations.
As you likely already know, you have a number of different options when it comes to Oahu vacation rentals. For starters, vacation rentals come in a number of different formats. These formats often include vacation homes, vacation condos, vacation apartments, vacation villas, and vacation cottages. You also have a wide range of options when choosing the specific vacation rental you want to book for your next vacation. With a number of different options, you are more likely to find the vacation rental of your dreams, but it should still require a little bit of research.
When examining Oahu vacation rentals, including Oahu homes, Oahu villas and Oahu condos, you will want to examine cost. Cost is one of the most important factors that you will want to take into consideration. When it comes to cost, it is important that you stay under your budget. Even if you aren’t on a budget, you may want to refrain from paying too much money for an Oahu vacation rental. The more money you save on your overnight accommodations, the more money you should have to put towards doing fun Oahu activities, like dancing and dining.
Location is another one of the many factors that should be examined, when looking to rent an Oahu vacation home, condo, apartment, or villa. When examining location, it is best if you already have an idea of which area of Oahu you would like to visit. Popular Oahu vacation destinations include Honolulu, Kailua, and Waialua. If you have yet to decide where in Oahu you would like to vacation, you may want to examine popular Oahu activities and attractions, as doing so may help you pinpoint the best location for your next Oahu vacation rental.
In keeping with location, it is also important that you examine the view. What is nice about taking Hawaii trips is the scenery. Oahu, as well as the other Hawaiian Islands, are full of beautiful views. Depending on the Oahu vacation rental you choose, you may get a perfect picture view. Although you will find some variances, you should gain access to an ocean view, mountain view, or at least a garden view.
Vacation rental features are another important point that you should take into consideration. Whether you make the decision to rent a vacation home, villa, condo, or apartment, your rental should come with a number of standard features. These features may include internet access, cable television, functioning kitchen appliances, and so forth. In addition to standard features, many Oahu vacation rentals, especially those considered luxury rentals, have additional features, which may include garden or patio areas, hot tubs, swimming pools, and so forth.
An additional point that you will want to take into consideration is that of privacy. No matter what the intent of your vacation is, like to have a break with your family or take a romantic getaway with your romantic partner, you may want to have some privacy. After all, privacy allows you to enjoy yourself and that is the goal of all vacations, to have a good time. You can easily examine the privacy allowed with each individual vacation rental by examining pictures. You can also take the type of Oahu vacation rental into consideration. In most cases, standalone rentals, such as homes and villas, give you more privacy.
The above mentioned points are just a few of the many points that you will want to take into consideration, when examining Oahu vacation rentals. Other additional points that you may want to place a focus on include appearance and size. To examine a large number of Oahu vacation rentals with ease, you may want to visit a Hawaiian travel website, such as HawaiianBeachRentals.com. Most will allow you to examine privacy, appearance, size, features, cost, and location through the use of detailed vacation rental pictures and descriptions.
Are you ready to start making your Oahu travel plans? If you are, visit HawaiianBeachRentals.com. They list a number of Oahu vacation rentals.