My husband refused to go marriage counselling, even I have given ultimatum, he is doubtful of it’s effectiveness, & he said I used this agaisnt him of whether to continue our marriage is conditional, and unloving behaviour…
My husband refused to go marriage counselling, even I have given ultimatum, he is doubtful of it’s effectiveness, & he said I used this agaisnt him of whether to continue our marriage is conditional, and unloving behaviour…
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Don’t force him to go to counseling because even a counselor will tell you that therapy doesn’t work until the person is willing to listen. He will probably recent you. I went to therapy with my ex and it didn’t work for anything. He continued with his cheating and lazy ways and therapy didn’t change him one bit. It’s up to that person you are with to want to change. Don’t nag if he loves you he will come around. If I were you. I would work on myself first and let everything fall into place. The only person you can make a change on is you.
It can go both ways… you both have to be willing to go and completely honest in order to make something of it.
It saved my marriage.
Some counselors are great, and some suck. Most are somewhere in between. You might need to try more than one counselor before you find a good one. That said, both partners need to be willing to work on the marriage. If his only objection is that he doubt it will work, then tell him to just give it a try – you already know that no counseling isn’t working, right?
He also needs to wake up to reality. Marriage is conditional. If you were beating the hell out of him, would he stay because love is supposed to be unconditional? No, likely not.
Sometimes you need to make compromises in marriage, and that might involve giving counseling a try if that’s what your spouse wants. If he can’t or won’t understand that, then there isn’t anything you can do but leave and find a more mature person who does understand those kinds of things.
0% effective………..Unless BOTH partners are willing to put their egos and hurt feelings aside, and actually follow advice. Counseling can do nothing to solve a lack of mutual commitment. It also generally won’t solve a fundamental lack of trust and/or respect. Not unless both partners are willing to be adults and are more interested in the marriage working than being “right.”
If that is the case, then it’s generally quite helpful.